LinkedIn is dead, long live the coffee chat

I get 50 LinkedIn messages a week from students asking for "referrals." I delete almost all of them. Why? Because I don't know them. In 2026, the digital noise is so loud that a cold message on a social network is basically spam.

If you want a job or a research position, you need real human connection. That means the "coffee chat." Find someone whose work you admire, ask them a specific question about a paper they wrote, and offer to buy them a coffee (or a virtual one).

Don't ask for a job in the first ten minutes. Ask about their journey. Ask what they regret. People love talking about themselves. By the end of the conversation, they'll feel invested in you. That's how you get the "hidden" opportunities that never make it to a job board. It's more work, but it actually works.

I'll never forget the email that changed my career. I was a first-year Master's student, completely lost about what to do after graduation. I found a researcher at a company I admired — let's call him David. Instead of the usual "Can you refer me?" garbage, I spent two days reading one of his papers. I found a small methodological question — nothing major, but a genuine gap I didn't understand. I emailed him with a subject line: "Question about your 2022 paper on X." I asked one specific thing about his data processing approach. He replied in two hours. We ended up on a 30-minute call. He didn't just answer my question — he walked me through how he thought about the whole problem. A year later, when his team had an opening, he called me before the job was even posted. That's how the real job market works.

Most students approach networking completely backwards. They think about what they can get, not what they can offer. A thoughtful question is an offering. It shows you've done your homework, you respect their work, and you're not just another spammer. If you're an introvert or you hate the idea of "selling yourself," this approach is perfect — because you're not selling anything. You're genuinely curious. And genuine curiosity is the most attractive quality in any professional interaction. Stop sending mass messages on LinkedIn. Pick three people this month. Read their work. Ask one good question. That's all you need.