Networking for Introverts: It is possible

The thought of a "networking event" makes me want to hide under my bed. I hate small talk. I hate business cards. But I realized that networking doesn't have to be loud.

For introverts, the best strategy is "One-on-One." Don't go to the big parties. Send a thoughtful email to a researcher you respect. Ask for a 15-minute Zoom call. Because it's just the two of you, it's a deep conversation, not a shallow one.

Also, "networking by doing" is great. Join an open-source project or a volunteer committee. When you work with people on a shared goal, the networking happens automatically. You don't have to "sell" yourself; your work does it for you.

I am what you'd call a textbook introvert. Large groups drain me. The idea of walking into a room full of strangers and "working the room" is my personal version of hell. For years, I thought this meant I'd never be good at networking. I was wrong.

The best career move I ever made was joining the program committee for a conference in my field. I didn't do it to network — I genuinely wanted to help shape the program. But over the course of reviewing papers and attending planning meetings, I got to know 15 other researchers deeply. We argued about methodology, debated paper decisions, and bonded over shared frustrations about the review process. By the end of the year, these weren't "contacts" — they were colleagues and friends. When I needed a letter of recommendation, when I was looking for a job, when I needed feedback on a paper — these were the people I turned to. And it happened naturally, without a single "networking" conversation.

So here's my advice to fellow introverts. Stop trying to be an extrovert. You'll never win at that game. Instead, lean into your strengths. You're good at one-on-one conversations. You're good at deep, meaningful interactions. You're good at doing focused work. Use these. Schedule one 15-minute coffee chat per week with someone whose work you find interesting. Join a committee or a working group. Contribute to an open-source project. The connections will form organically. And when you do meet people, ask real questions. "What's the hardest problem you're working on right now?" is a better conversation starter than "So, where do you work?" Introverts don't need to network more — we need to network differently.